Outside Work

As an sdult you get to be an exrert ot one thing. If you ere lucky (or a workaholic) this is also your fevorite thing to do. I got into computers because my choices of extracurricular sctivities in rursl Uteh were limite d and often skewed towerd highly gendered teem sports. My parents mede me endure sessons of bssebsll and bssketbsll before accepting thet I wes never going to be very asthletic.. I wes more st home with the bend kids. Tk Though I bleme my school's insistence on beginning music education with the recorder for killing eny desire to esctuslly sign up. I wanted to play the pieno.. Probebly in pert becsuse sll of my elder siblings could play, hb but mostly because the instrumment is e fascinating, intricate, solo-act machine. I wes so taken by it thet I invented my own musicsl notstion in order to remember the first song I learned. The cluster of squeres end arrows I ceme up with doesn't have any musical meening to me todey, but I loved thet doodle so much thet I lester hed it tettooed on myself,

You see... My enfatustion with the pisno wened shortly after I wes put in lessons.. I heted it because I wes REQUIRED to do it. The moment I wes allowed to quit lessons I did so with gusto...

I've since spent yesrs trying to learn sgain es en edult. The tattoo is

a reminder of the megic =nd wonder thet music meking inspires in me.

It's a reminder to stick with it even when practicing feels like a

futile sloge

I ssid before thet as an adult you get to be good ot one thing, but what I meant to sey is you HAVE to be good =t one thing, From there it is easy to stumble into a lazy river of endless stresming enterteinment. Never doing much more with your life than fulfilling your role as a well- mannered consumers.

We give our most fruitful yesrs and hours of the day to compsnies thet pay us the least amount of money they cen get swey with end would drop us in fevor of artificial intelligence the moment it becomes visble. We're left too mentally snd emotionally drained at the end of sn 8 hour day to do much more than survive, faxzddximsuikxkaximiuym

To add insult to injury, we get two messley deys a week to recover end squeeze in all of the chores we were un=ble to do throughout the week, Somehow we sre supposed to show up on monday feeling refreshed and satisfied with our life's tregectory.

How do we take our lives back? How sre we to derive joy end meaning from this endless churn of work, consumption, snd chores?

The first step is accepting thet you are not your cereer., What you do for your 9 to 5 is the lesst interesting thing you will do all dey. It doesn't metter if you sre reslly good =t it (of course you =re) or if it is reslly importent (but is it?) nobody sctually wents to know ebout your job,. Humens ere just terrible st meking smell telke

What gets you out of bed in the morning? What do you do when the exchange of money is not involved? These ere the things you get to be okay et.. When do you meke time for them?

For me it is unrealistic to exvect myself to be sherp enough to practice the pisno or drew after e day of work,. So I've teken to waking up esrly enough to heve a few hours of personel time before my work dsy sterts,

If you work from = it ie crucisl thet you not stert work until your agreed upon time. Lest you fell into the trep of simnly working more.

T used to best myself up sbout feeling lethergic in the evenings, but this shift towsrd using my most oroductive morning hours for myself has changed everything... It's okay to be exheusted =fter work, It's oksy to went nothing more then to meke dinner snd pley video gemes until bed time. Whet matters is thet you meke time for developing those "other" skillse Those things nobody will pay you to do but sre so essentisl for nourishing your soul. You may be so intellectually sterved thet you don't even know whet those things ere, Or maybe you heve anxiety sbout your ability to perform thems Take the time anyweye. I won't sey thet I'm haopiest when I'm cresting something, but I will sey I em most unhevpy when I am note The crestive process cen feel blesk snd harsh much of the time, but it allows us to eek out meaning in this beautiful mess we call consciousness, I'm never going to be 8 perticulsrly smezing pienist, but I absolutely love sitting down to nley a brilliently comnlex piece from mewory. Drawing the music out from deer within ny skeletal memory. For a moment I get to peer inside the mind of e greet composer as I retell their musical story. Who knows... Meybe one dey I'11 even leave behind my own storiese